Monday, September 25, 2017

Lamentation Gas Station

Let's imagine we're in the snow --
But can't feel cold.
Let's imagine we're in the desert  --
But can't feel burnt.

Let's slip away to
Another scene far, far away
From this broken moment 
That's thrown us into havoc.

Let's imagine we're in a canopy 
But can't slip to death's grip.
Let's imagine we're in a waterfall
But can't drown down, down, down.

Let's slip away to
Another scene far, far away 
From this haunted attic room
Where the smoke settled in.

Let's imagine we're in a forest --
But don't feel lost without a compass.
Let's imagine we're in a river --
But don't feel we might go underflow.

Let's slip away to
Another scene far, far away 
From this rundown gas station 
That only pumps lamentations.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Holy River

Holy river that be
you won’t sink me.
Beneath the water
sinks reality

Young ones jump into the river
and peer into the abyss
What’s down there?
They all wonder

So they dive in
and years go by fighting serpents
all to find their treasure
and rise upward again

Satisfied, they build their raft little by little
and wave to the other happy rafts
that look so at ease not having to
dredge treasure from the river

What a wonderful world it is
floating in the holy river, together.

A broken raft lies on the riverbank
What has gone wrong there?
Another companionship broken
abandoning their construction

In the holy river it does not matter
if you sink, swim or ride together
It makes no judgments
it’s up to you to decipher the benefits

How did it go over there?
No matter, it’s past.
The river stops for no man
despite their swimming backward

It’s in passing we see the
wonders of creation and
horrors of destruction.

Each little treasure falls by the wayside
so you cast your line out for another
and hope for escape from the former

What was it, anyway?
Did you see it?
Or was it just captured?

One day, it’ll be upon us
to see through the wonders
and save ourselves from the horrors.

One day, it’ll be upon us
to accept the creation
and reject the destruction.

Holy river that be
Is it time that moves you
or do we float unto eternity?

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Playing With Fire

my mind has been running 
towards similies that mean nothing...
so if i reach for a flower 
let i tell you, it is only our disaster

disaster written upon the face of murder 
will give us hope for a new commander
but if he is to lead us to victory
let i tell you, it is only toward misery

misery that pegs us guilty
for a new ideal to extinguish our frivolity 
but if it will lead us to significance
let i tell you, it will only fuel the resistance

resistance spawned from a dark restlessness
that masturbates vigourously to selflessness
but if our orgasm bursts utopian unity
let i tell you, it is only toward hypocrisy

hypocrisy pumped from the two opposing valves
which sound the beating of our heart
and plugging away the black,
it remits backwards to our sight

newborn heart born so pure
the world can't allow you to stay so sure
so you run and run toward perfection 
in a form of idealistic identification

then smug with a newfound position, 
you ramble off your blackened wisdom
when the nurse calls,
tell her it's a case of dissatisfaction

It's the most honest I've been,
and it's a life I've observed too long...
our minds either play with fire
or they dull and wither

Sunday, March 17, 2013


o acorn stuck in my hand
I love you too much
to not place you back where I found you
and give you back the life I robbed you

I hope it wasn't a tragedy
to drop you into the ground
for you to burrow for some spark
of inspiration, motivation, and direction

great tree that you'll be
take my blessing to live a life worth mentioning.
and learn it was never all that bad to wallow
in the earth to undergo a transformation 

one day we'll look back
and see we were just two acorns
caught in a windy situation
that threw us into our perfect location

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Love's Tears by Hephaestus

Onto a weary sigh from a saddened glance down
Staring into remnants of the sun's being
Turning and bubbling between stoned walls.
My forge and I, we know all too well
What a pain it is to have nowhere to go

My soul, whose villains of life
have wrapped their thirsty hands around
pulling and squeezing it through the door
of my open chest into this unsightly world,
Falls from my breast into my legs and the
roots of my heart haven't the strength
to burrow those darkened corridors for life

With a hammer and anvil, what magic a man can work
But a fool he'd be to look up to me;
Why hand over an iron sword to a simple man
Letting him father your creation? For he will
learn to wield your power to his designation,
and in place of showers of appreciation,
will be a blind-eyed man ravenous for glorification.
Because No one thanks their creator
No one enters this world thanking Gaia
for her nourishment, or Helios for his warmth;
So crafter, do not think they,
As they reach the height of their power
proclaiming themselves worthy of a god,
in their pathetic vanity
will not bind you to their might,
ridicule your unruly sight, seduce your lover by night,
squeeze and squeeze your soul feeling no contrite
to let it sigh its last goodnight -
No crafter! Do not let them conspire with your power!

But this power...
Torn between envy and self-pity, I've fallen
below the fabric of the universe's beauty
and beneath it, I can see the infinities of possibility
that make up my supposed ingenuity.
Fall long enough to come meet me and
You will see - yes it is our souls that fuel our tools
Turning us simple craftsmen into the gate watchmen
As we unlock the makings of life's magnificent creations
But these keys handed to us were from the master riddler herself
Whose creations were held in the garden long before the dawn of reason

Do you understand now?
The universe gives away beauty and we stain
It with tormented desire and hostility
I wish a tide would wash it all away, but
you humans seduce me with a sense of power

It's only the crafters who cry at night
The foundation beneath us never cracks
And it's only the crafters who scrutinize
To unfold the veil and see things properly
It's the crafters who live life harmoniously
and humbly know there is no beauty.
It was all just an illusion of rock and dirt
that sparkled to pander your eyes

What is beautiful, Hephaestus?
Is it indeed, as we have imagined?! This idea
Of a grand scheme that was given to amuse our little souls
And while we eat at each other's flesh and blood
The dogs are starving for more, and
I give them tools to satisfy their lures
But what is it I do?

Only the true crafter cries at night
And works tirelessly to disarm his worst fear:
The golden creation remains forever elusive

Monday, February 2, 2009

Reality's Question

many hours tick the clock
as minutes pass and birds chirp
lying on a table, erebus wallows:
what is real? and what is not?
does it or matter? or does it not?

my days upon this table he thinks
what a fitting simile
to indulge here from night to night
after a momentary blessing and cheering
to what is right and what is just
in our self-righteous rituals,
where did it go - the hours ticking?
and the birds - are they still chirping?

have you felt it?
does your heart go icy
from time to time leaving you
wondering what went wrong?

my heart has felt it -
but it is no proud soldier
to display its hurt
it withers away screaming at time
for taking its moments and putting
them away

my heart has felt it -
it has climbed mountains only to climb back down
it has seen the opera only to drown out the sound
the rubix cube turns
and when the colors align
is it real? or is it fake?
does it matter? what will it take?

the nighttime glows a pale yellow
running itself through my veins
moved along by the slow beating of
an old friend standing with a cane
displaying his pain, but he is no war hero

is it real?
to feel this way? is it real?
and if it is - what does it
matter - what can it do - why
does it speak to me - and you,
who are you knocking at my door
in the middle of the night
with a lantern for light, did you
think you could illuminate
the darkest night?
my friend, just tell me,
is it real? or is it fake?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Quiet Hallway

quiet halls echo my voice.
footsteps slowly pound their way up the stairs
and a man is walking towards me.
my eyes are darting left and right.
i'm trapped inside a quiet hallway.

dark clouds are forming and the wind is beginning.
i'm thinking i'll run away if
my feet weren't made of stone.
The man is getting closer...
I'm trapped within a quiet hallway

Lightning strikes! And I'm being stared at by an animal.
His claws are growing, teeth flaring, and he's hissing my execration
I try to ignore him, glance behind me, look at the grass
Forget about all this, and remember my life is beautiful

When i was a boy, I slid down an icy slope
I was so happy; my life blurred in ecstasy.
oh mother out there in the green grass
is that your face?
you always did say it was much too risky
I didn't think it would come to this
My eyes leak for looking out there
From inside here, my quiet hallway

It's just as I expected. the dead are coming again to catch me
From an extended bone pointing at me, a spell is cast
And my blood runs cold thinking no no, this can't be true
I thought I was out of view, but the man found
My secluded quiet hallway and wants his due

He inches near and the wind is scaring me
"It's my quiet hallway - get out of here!"
but the clouds never leave me alone.
They snarl and hiss at me transforming into
Demons, snakes, and rodents that reach out to lick
my body with lightning and piss. And as
I collapse, they leave me moaning to wither to shit
Laughing all the while -
they've taken my quiet hallway and never giving it back

I try to ignore them, close my eyes:
When I was a child, I slid down an icy slope.
I would do it again if they gave me the chance.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

The Waterfall

The men that live their life within the forest
Are plagued by the beauty of a waterfall.
For all men living ther lives think,
What a fun fall it would be in the waterfall

Through the long hours of the day, tediously dull, and uninspiring
They want to feel the thrill of a fall
and engulf themslves in the beauty of the water

And when they do
Without proper precautions and preparation,
their heads are torn apart and soul
bled out from one to many bumps down the fall.
Reluctantly they climb out of the perfidious waters
shaken, cold, and sore

The women on the other side of the mountain
Look also to the glamarous waterfall
And all the love it could offer them.
But women, the more prudent of the two, are weary
of such a great fall and the damage it could do

Nonetheless they wonder - how magnificent the fall can be as
the crashing water drenches into every pore
stripping the body to its soul leaving them
breathless, captivated, and full

Yes the waterfall is on everyone's mind - mine included
I've been floating down the river and I can see it ahead
There's a pretty girl in my raft and I'm hoping she'll understand
That whatever happens at the fall, I'm not going to let go

Because she doesn't know that hidden below my
"it was funny meeting you"
lies a "I've always been looking for you"
buried beneath "I've given up on finding you"

Perhaps she can already see it in my eyes
And through my actions, but I feel like
The least I can say to her is
"I built this raft sturdy with my own two hands
So that my dream girl could climb come on.
And now that you're here - I'll never let you drown"

Hidden In The Trees

I don't know what to say, but listen -
Your heart is echoing what my heart's whispering

The sun is making its way to a high point.
This feels like some big play
With a spotlight shining down upon us.
I'm thinking my god, it's really quite bright

So we hide in the woods together
where the light can pour softly over us.
In our kind of solitude, I'm thinking
It's crazy how we came here

I was just passing by and you were just hanging out
When I said a few dumb things,
I couldn't believe: you got up to walk with me
and soon we found ourselves lost in the heart of the forest

What is this I wonder -
The light between us is getting brighter
I really can't fight the sensation much longer
My heart is screaming every time you smile

So I grab you closer to me
But your eyes are scanning all around
I wonder why? as I become uneasy
And just when I was about to worry,

I had a look around as well:
The branches are slowly rocking
Throwing the light all around us

I can't believe how beautiful it is
With us at the center of it all.
There's gotta be cameras hiding somewhere
or maybe God is trying to show me

That when you take it all in...
Like pouring gas into an empty lighter..
As our lips touch, it's like a spark -
And our hearts are on fire

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

In the valley

Join me in the walk of dead
What for sir?
No reason really, we walk, we moan
Why would I want that?

Because in the valley of dead
Scary sights surround us, and we
Make peculiar noises and shivering cries
Men who walk near us become so cold

Good, fair enough, in this valley
of dead I will come make
havoc of the earth
And lightning in my eyes
Ready to strike a kill

Then come
let us amuse ourselves
And indulge in our fearing ways
For we haven't seen a man 2 years to this day

Some go south, others rise north
But in the valley, you don't need any affiliation
Our way is simple
We're out to stay killed

The Night's Paleness

Passed out legs crossing sitting there
My friends giggle and laugh
My body stays fixed however
Giving no rise to the world around it

Inside the wandering mind a
mountain of coal is dropping from
the sky neatly wrapped wry

Again they laugh
It's new year's eve and fesitivies are
the people's cry.

Far in the confused mind
is heading south, north, east, west
thinking each bend awaits his promise.
only at the end to accomplish weary feet

Best they help me out, they think
So they throw me a pillow and
a few sheets. Gratified
they walk away leaving me to lay

Monday, August 25, 2008

Black Days

From rich to poor
buried the arms of another
missed every open door
living but why bother

stare into the open
forget yourself for a second
and stare into the open hoping
to lose yourself for a second

heavy legs still move
desperate for a second chance
smoked life's cigarette
and still hoping for another

the pack's already gone
and now i'm smoked
soon to fill the pack

i wonder what it was worth
when flowers decay and skies blacken
memories aren't your best friend
but an envied transition

Friday, August 22, 2008

The Sea's Pleasures

Walk cautiously along the sea of trouble
It’s full of soul eating monsters
And though I do know it appears mystical
“My friend, just stay here with me”

Such a courageous spirit my friend!
“This boat is tougher than you may think”
I trust he has ridden it all along the rivers
That pour themselves into the sea of disaster

“It is only your soul that suffers!
There are sirens and goblins there!
That come in when you're least aware
Laughing and mocking you to despair!”

“Nay” say he clumsily getting to his feet
And he raises his finger as to make a point
But out comes a sigh to a distant glance
“I ride the river to the sea of darkness”

Who am I ? I think to myself
To think I could alter the universe
“But here” I tell him
“Take this flashlight so that if it gets too dark
You may signal the others that you need help”

But it’s not much good –
Who listens to one another in the sea of black?
Each looking for his own way out
But the sirens never stop
And men can have such weak hearts


The beauty of two souls together
A mystery kept with god
That pumps the chemicals
Which poison our hearts


What to write about?
Is that such a question?
A million things –
Where are your pens?

Locked up in your brain
Trying to find
The proper ryme?
Unnecessary time!

Green, red, fire black
Hate, love, comedy
Act, but its all
Too serious!

Life is like a hamster
Ball said the wise prophet
Who lay motionless in your mind
Shot down by his own idealogy

Thursday, August 14, 2008

With Waves of Emotion

Seating myself on a park bench
On a chilly day in late December,
I try to rest myself of this memory
Looking over the cold blue sea

The waters are crashing to the ground
Climbing their way toward me
Recoiling away from me
Oh... how nature does mock me

I can’t keep my eyes off you
It’s something in your dancing
That leaves me wondering
If the next crash will be a little closer
And a little stiller

What makes you so restless sea?
What is it that you can’t tell me?
I’ve sat here a long time with you sea.
Surely you can trust me?
Is this just you playing with me?

I hate leaving this cold bench
My time with you I always cherish
But I fear I may lose my head
If my heart doesn’t accept that you just won’t stop

Tearing at the Heart

My lungs are filling with smoke
And in a distance, I see a shining light.
Is it the pale glow of the darkest night?
Or the afterglow of a lightning strike?

My heart begins to beat rapidly
As I let the elusive grey matter fill my veins
It cries to my brain, “Don’t let this happen to me!”
Though I just sit there quietly wallowing in self defeat

But still my heart races begging me to see
Of all the illustrious wonders love could be!
That this is not the end!
But yet another chance to amend!
Wherein lays a chance to grow, rise, and overcome!
But no no please don’t succumb!
Yes, yes I know it sounds dumb
When all that was bright has gone dim
But I swear I’m still your friend
So please, please, please don't do me in!

"Gentle heart, I could never do you in"
"But you must realize there is a time for everything"
"And that includes the sorrowing"

But why is that? I wonder
That I treat love as an escape
While my heart slowly assimilates into hate
Leaves me wandering - lost - in this cloudy state

Ending A Seasonal Love

Love in the Autumn
Leaves wilt into colored beauty
Ever year long
Love in the Autumn

Love in the Spring
The lady refuses the ring
Never again
Will love bloom in the Spring

Love in the summer
The drugs continue to make me dumber
Too high to ever
Create love in the summer

Love in the winter
The men are all much too bitter
The man’s seed will never
Blossom love in the winter

In the time where everything slowly wilts away
Does only true love still shine


Looking over the grassy cliff
I'm not sure what takes
In the distance, a star explodes
What is it that makes us so far

At the start of a day, I hide
my underlying inhibitions:
I make each step strong and swift
as to know what it takes
But from here to there, I know not where

Then at the day's fall, alone and motionless:
The demons pour out to mock the past.
I listen but do not understand the crime
that I've done to hear them again and again

No one wants to live like this
So people walk and teach us another way.
But when we're sitting their listening:
The struggle is enough work we say

Curiosity has haunted me for days.
I opened a book the other day:
It told me a tale that men are all one.
I dropped everything for work had to be done.

I lifted up my boot and tore the
size tag right off.
Then I took off as one with everything

I walked for awhile,
But wouldn't know that
I laugh but still don't get it
My eyes won't stop lying to me

Looking down, I jump to
no where from nothing

Cupid's Love (Poison)

Rivers will flow and the wind will continue to blow
Always leaving each other be

Again and again, does the river havoc my envy
“In time,” I say to myself, “I will become thee”
And forgive this wind for blowing so cold
In these frost bitten days...

Cupid threw me his arrow in times long gone
“Pick your love soldier, let your bitterness be!”
What is it that could go so wrong?
O the deception eternal love did have on me

A baby girl, and perhaps a brave boy
A perfect family with a perfect father
Don’t you see?
It is any young man’s idea of ecstasy

I clutched the heart encrusted arrow
And let an amber arrow fly
Piercing through the corridors of her heart
Leaving its poison behind so effortlessly
You, beautiful eyes, will be mine forever

I took a second look at the eyes of my victim
Such purity, I could see right into her soul
An avalanche had reined fury upon me
My blood blackened and my heart stiffened
Ever so painful was this guilty despair.

“What do you care?”
“Is eternal love not good enough for you?”
“You’d think you were made of stone”
“Why do you mortals have to be so rude?”

Her eyes were that of the clearest sky
What a beautiful window did I gaze through
With the hands of a thief did I extend that cursed bow
Selfishly pocketing the soul’s beautiful glow

“Yes cupid, for I am a being of moral stone”
“For never will I love an infected, seduced
lifeless, thoughtless drone”
“That your love arrow had so wrongfully sewn!”

“Oh? A moral man?”
“Ha-ha, humans will never stop lying to themselves”

Damn you Cupid
And damn your spell
And damn my selfishness
And damn that day guilt spawned within my veins

And what do I get in return?
Punishment? Condemnation? Perjury?
How I would love for those.
You know not what a guilty conscience bears

Always seeking me she is, never leaving me
Eternally forgiving, incapable of blaming me
So unaware of her heart’s treachery
She will always seek to satisfy me

Since that day I have wandered off
slowly icing my heart
Until the day comes when it shall shatter
And I’ll have found my ecstasy

Our love is eternally loyal you see
Forged on Earth to never cease
We cannot forget of one another
nor age any longer

Time has become but a river to us
You are just water to fill the otherwise empty void
Flowing down your path in and out of each torrent
Relentless and unsatisfied do you always seem
Always seeking to control time’s current

And above you, there I will forever be
A brittle leaf blowing and tearing
A victim to the wind’s eternal brutality
Observing the rivers of possibilities and opportunities
Trickle down the mountains, through valleys and trees
And finally forming their way into the final sea
A place, I cannot be

A Moment

Before you lead me to the corridors of hell
Stop and listen to the wind
It's furious and raving
My fingers frost bit, feet numb, I've been cold my whole life

Hold at the entrance, and see my life
Running in circles to burn in bliss
Stop and look at the dizziness
My eyes are tired, brain is swirled, I've been confused my whole life

And as we float through the Earth's wall
Look at the many I've thrown up around me
In my own little world, I am suffocating
Look at me twist away in agony, I've been suffering my whole life

Tip toeing on life's tight rope
I look down too often looking for the other side
Just rock, steel, and human's passion
To deceive themselves of death's proximity

The act is getting old, and my dance is out of rhythm
May your spotlight fade slowly
But mine will end abruptly